


The Alcohol Does All the Talking

by chelsaofbakerst (ChelsaOfBakerStreet)



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: Alcohol, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-30
Updated: 2011-06-30
Packaged: 2017-11-09 15:48:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/457229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChelsaOfBakerStreet/pseuds/chelsaofbakerst
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darren finds out that different types of alcohol do different things to one Chris Colfer. Can he find the combination that gets him where he wants to be?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Alcohol Does All the Talking

“Come on, we’re going out for your twenty-first!” Such simple harmless words right? Not to Chris Colfer it seemed. Those few words turned into one of the weirdest things to ever happen to him. Some days it felt like a science experiment, a very strange one, but an experiment none the less. 

It all started that night, that fateful night of his twenty-first birthday. He was old enough to go out with the rest of the cast and they seemed to think it their civic duty to get him drunk off his ass. They had gone to a bar that the cast liked to frequent when they were in town. Tequila shots were ordered and that’s where the trouble began.  
\------------------  
“Come on Chris, another shot!” Darren grinned, pushing the small glass across the table at him.

Chris looked at him warily, knowing he was well on his way at getting drunk, not able to hold his liquor as well as everyone else. To hell with it he thought, reaching for the glass and tossing it back. He squinted as the alcohol burned down his throat and reached for a wedge of lime.   
\-------------------  
Darren struggled with getting the door open while supporting a very drunk Chris Colfer on his arm. 

“You know” Chris slurred, “I think I’m like fourth in line for the crown. It’s a conspiracy Darren, it is!”

Darren grinned as he steered Chris towards his bed. “I’m sure it is Chris. How can someone not look at you and think you aren’t royalty.”

“Exactly! That’s what I’ve been saying forever. Finally someone who understands! I mean, it’s so obvye-obliter- obvious that I am royalty.”

Darren barely suppressed a laugh at Chris, god he’s so cute when he’s drunk. I wonder what he’s like when he drinks a bit of Jack Daniels.

That thought is what sparked it all. After taking off ‘his majesty’s’ shoes Darren slid into his bed and grabbed a pad of paper. On one side he wrote a list of liquors and next to tequila the words ‘conspiracy theories about being in line for the British Throne’.  
\--------------------------  
Chris shouldn’t have been surprised to find Darren waiting for him with a bottle of Vodka and two shot glasses. “Darren? What are you doing?”

“Just seeing what effects Vodka has on you. Just a little social experiment, that’s all.” Darren grinned, holding his arm out to Chris as they walked into the room they were sharing.

“I feel like this is a very bad idea. I mean, what if I try to come on to you or something, that’d be awkward.”

“I’ll remember that you’re drunk and this was my idea in the first place?” Darren laughed, setting the bottle on the nightstand. He unscrewed the cap and poured both glasses, pressing one into Chris’ hand.

Chris tipped his back, eyes watering as the liquor ran its course down his throat. How could something so harmless looking hurt so much?

A few more shots in and Chris’ head was buzzing lightly and things seemed to be funnier. “Darren” Chris slurred, smacking Darren on the arm. “Darren, turn on ‘Single Ladies’ I want to dance.” With that a very confused looking Darren grabbed Chris’ iPod, plugged it into the speakers he kept with him and turned back around to face where Chris’s stomach was now level with his face. 

“Chris what-“ His sentence was cut short as Chris began dancing, almost stripping, on the low coffee table. 

“Chris, maybe we should get you off there, come on, get down.”

“My name is Ontario and I’m an exotic dancer. Also, I don’t remember you paying. If you’re going to watch, you’re going to pay Mr.”

Darren almost lost it then and there. It took all of his self-control to neither a, laugh his ass off at his coworker nor b, jump his coworker. Instead he remembered himself and grabbed his camera, filming the entire dance. “You’re so going to regret this later on.” Darren grinned as he watched Chris dance, nearly falling a time or two.

The best part was when the song finished, so did Chris. He struck a pose and then climbed off the table, falling face-first onto his bed and started lightly snoring.

Darren grabbed his pad and wrote next to Vodka, ‘exotic dancer named Ontario’.  
\-------------------------------------------  
The next liquor Darren pulled out was whiskey. He had a nice bottle of Jack Daniels waiting for Chris in their room after he left the girls’ room across the hall.

“Really Darren, you’re still going on with this?”

“Yep. We have gin, bourbon, wine, beer, and brandy.”

“You’re crazy, you know that right?” 

“No, just curious.”

“About the effects of alcohol on your coworker?”

“Yep. It’s quite amusing actually, the results are splendid.”

“I swear to god Darren if you EVER release that video…” Chris shot his most threatening glare at Darren who simply smiled.

“Just remember to never get on my bad side.”

“I hate you.” 

Whiskey, they found out, merely made Chris sleepy. As a matter of fact, he fell asleep, head tucked into Darren’s lap at about his fourth shot. Darren simply smiled, falling back onto the bed softly, making sure not to wake Chris.   
\--------------  
Darren awoke to a warm body pressed against his side, Chris’ light snoring falling on his ear. He glanced down and took in Chris’ features, softened by sleep. Chris looked heavenly all the time, but he looked so much like an angel, fallen to earth that Darren dared not wake him.  
Chris stirred slightly, sighing softly as he curled even more into Darren before his soft eyelashes fluttered open. He let out a small gasp as he realized who he was pressed against and moved away stuttering. “Oh my god I’m so sorry Darren, I didn’t mean to, the whiskey made me sleepy, I’m so sorry.”

Darren held a finger up to Chris’ lips, stopping the boy from continuing to babble. “Chris, it’s ok, really I didn’t mind.”

Chris’ cheeks were shaded a brilliant pink as he rolled off the bed and grabbed his shower supplies and slipped into the bathroom. 

Darren picked up his notepad, scribbling a note next to whiskey. ‘Note to self, use this as much as possible if you want to wake up to that beautiful face.’  
\----------------------  
Chris leaned his head against the cool tile of the shower wall, taking in deep breaths of air. Why had he gone along with this? All this was going to do was going to hurt him in the end. Why had it always been so easy to let Darren into his life? 

Chris toweled off after his shower, threw on his clothes for the day and went back out into the room. “Hey, sorry for freaking out this morning, I just wasn’t expecting, um, well, you know.”

Darren grinned, pulling his tee shirt over his head. “It’s ok, but look, if you don’t want to I’ll stop with all of this nonsense.”

“One more” the words were out of Chris’ mouth before he could really process what he had said.

“What?” Darren asked, holding his breath while he waited for Chris to speak again. 

“One more type of liquor and then that’s it. Let’s do rum. Maybe you’ll get to see the influences of wine on me at dinner sometime.” What the fuck did I just say?!

What the fuck did he just say? He, no, couldn’t have, wishful thinking, that’s all. Darren   
hoped it wasn’t wishful thinking, wanted to have heard the words.

“You know, like if we all go out to dinner. Like the whole cast.”

Darren’s heart sank at the words. It could be a cover up, it could be.   
“Right. Well, um, then tonight, our room. I’ll bring the rum.”

Chris let out a snort. “You sound like you’re propositioning me.”

“Maybe I am” Darren said, cocking an eyebrow.

“Right. Well then, see you later.”  
\----------------------  
Darren, true to his word was waiting for Chris with a bottle of rum, two glasses and a few cans of Diet Coke. He had been sitting there for a few minutes, listening as water hit the sides of the shower. 

Chris grinned as he walked out, his tee shirt clinging to his chest. “So, tonight’s it. Maybe I’ll think I’m in space or maybe you’ll be lucky enough to get a strip tease.” His eyes shone with mischievousness as he walked towards Darren.

Darren ignored the comment, his heart pounding in his chest as he mixed the rum and Diet Cokes. He offered one to Chris, taking the other for himself. He knocked back half the glass, the burning in his throat washing away everything else he was feeling at the moment.  
Chris gulped down part of his, his eyes never straying from Darren who was looking into the liquid in his glass.

Soon Chris had drunk twice the amount of rum and coke as Darren and he couldn’t stop thinking about how amazing Darren’s eyes were. “Darren?”

“Yeah Chris?” Darren answered from where he was sprawled on his bed. 

“You have amazing eyes, have I ever told you that?”

“No, I can’t recall that you have.”

“Well you do. And your lips, they look delicious.” With that Chris poked his head up so that it was even with Darren’s and kissed him. Chris thought Darren tasted like spices and mint and the bit of rum hanging onto his tongue.

Darren kissed Chris back, the movement seemingly second nature. He pulled Chris up to him, dragging the taller boy on top of him, kissing him harder.

Chris threaded a hand into Darren’s curls, his fingers grasping onto the fine curls. He let his other hand wander, touching Darren’s jawline, his neck, and chest. 

Darren pulled back from the kiss, gasping for air before he recaptured Chris’ mouth, pulling Chris’ bottom lip into his mouth. 

Chris let out a small moan and rocked against Darren, his alcohol addled mind simply telling him he needed more. 

Darren moaned lightly as Chris pressed against him before he came back to his senses. He pushed Chris off of him, sending the boy sliding to the floor. 

“Darren” Chris whined, trying to get back onto the bed. 

“No Chris, you’re drunk. I want, want this to be special dammit, not just some drunken hook-up.” Darren led Chris to his bed, tucking the sheets around him as Chris tried to pull him down on him. “Chris, let me go, you’re drunk. You don’t want this.”

Finally Chris relinquished his clutch on Darren who slid into his bed shaking. Sleep took forever to come for Darren; he kept replaying the way Chris’ lips felt on his own, the way his body felt on top of his. Darren had wanted nothing more than to let Chris do whatever he wanted to him but he knew it was irresponsible. Sighing heavily he rolled onto his side and watched the rise and fall of Chris’ chest until he fell into a fitful rest of sleep.  
\------------------------------------  
Chris woke up with a pounding headache and a sick feeling in his stomach. He realized he had fallen asleep in his own bed, but he felt like he was forgetting something.

As he watched Darren stir in bed, the events of the night before came crashing back into his mind. He groaned as he realized what had transpired and wanted nothing more than for his bed to turn into a black hole and destroy him. He rolled out of bed and tried to tiptoe out of the room. Rustling from Darren’s bed and a soft ‘Chris’ stopped him in his tracks. He turned to face Darren who was rubbing his eyes groggily. “Yes?”

“Chris we, uh, we need to talk.”

Chris closed his eyes in embarrassment, all thoughts of escaping the room fleeing from his mind. “Darren, I’m sorry, I was drunk, I didn’t know.” He stopped abruptly. What could he say? He had come on to his coworker, how would they ever get past this? Chris just wanted their friendship back. 

“You weren’t drunk.”

Darren’s words completely derailed Chris’ train of thought. “I-what? Yes I was, you were there! You mixed the drinks!”

“They had no alcohol in them. I wanted to see what would happen. You’re brain thought you were drinking rum, but you weren’t, it was all in your head.”

“But I kissed you. There’s no way I would do that sober!”

“You thought you were drunk-“

“And you kissed me back! You let me think I was drunk and let me take advantage of you and and-“

Darren stopped Chris’ words with a hard kiss. Chris’ eyes widened in surprise before he relaxed into the kiss, trying to piece together what was going on.

Darren broke away before taking a step back. “You can’t take advantage of someone who wants it.” With that he kissed Chris again, harder and rougher and a whole hell of a lot needier. Chris kissed back with the same amount of passion and want, holding on to Darren, afraid it was just a really good dream.

Chris pulled back as a thought struck him. “Wait, was that you’re plan all along? How did you know rum would do that?”

“I didn’t. I was taking a really, really wide guess. More of a lot of hopeful thinking actually. I just got lucky.”

Chris smirked slightly before pulling Darren to the bed with him. “Oh yes, very lucky indeed.”

**Author's Note:**

> Chris really wasn't drunk, he had just tricked himself into thinking he was. So why did Darren stop him? Because he wanted Chris to be sober, whether the drunkeness was imagined or not.


End file.
